Trying to be festive when you feel like hiding under the covers
Do you have that not so jolly feeling?
Decorating for the holidays right after divorce is about as much fun as eating a candy apple right after a root canal. Feeling not so jolly and all ho-ho-ho after all you’ve been through is totally normal and ok. All the first ‘everythings’ can feel like a gut punch at times but then suddenly feel like a breath of fresh air! It’s weird, conflicting and confusing all at once.
You might be saying to yourself “Ugh, can we just skip to January 2nd because I have zero desire to be festive much less decorate.” Yeah I feel ya, and I am right there with you. And I have some ideas on how we can do this thing OUR way this year, but first let me share my story.
For me, this is my second Christmas since my husband has moved out of our home, but technically the first Christmas we are celebrating divorced. Last week he came over and helped the kids and me hang the lights outside and decorate the tree. This year I finally had the bandwidth to go through all the decorations and ornaments with him to divide up between our two homes.
It was bittersweet for sure. And even though I was sad at the loss and letting go of what was, I also felt a sense of release and freedom. No longer am I bound to decorate in a way that is pleasing to everyone. This year, I get to adorn my home in a way that brings me comfort and joy. There are no expectations from anyone.
So here are a few decorating ideas for you as you navigate these next few weeks of holiday glee.
First, if you are really feeling low energy and don’t want to decorate, don’t. That’s right. I am giving you permission to just skip it all if it hurts too much or brings you anxiety. Just light a candle and breathe. There will always be next year, so don’t force yourself.
If you do feel like doing something but aren’t all gung-ho for the ho-ho-ho, consider going natural. Often the store-bought decorations lend to the over-commercialized, high expectations of the season. Instead, try bringing in natural elements that help you ground and soothe you. Add colors found in nature like creams, evergreen, and berry reds. A touch of shimmer with some silver or gold elevates everything without a lot of fuss.
You really don’t have to add much to get the feeling of the season. Here are a few examples to get you started:
Bring in the outdoors with fresh sprigs of evergreen, pinecones, and hollyberry. Put them on your dining table and mantle, tuck them on shelves and on bathroom vanities.
Huddle up on the sofa with some fuzzy pillows and thick cozy blankets in creams, and deep greens.
A little red goes a long way, so even a few bows or strands of ribbon about the room gives a festive feeling without all the fuss.
To add warmth and a soft glow, group some vanilla scented candles in various sizes with cinnamon sticks on a tray or platter
Place a few poinsettias on a console or side table.
If you want to put up a tabletop sized tree or light a menorah, then do simply that.
You get the idea. Feeling not so jolly right now is ok but doing things differently shifts your perspective. It gets you out of your rut. It helps you to see other possibilities. And honestly, that is exactly what you need right now. Once the holidays are over, it’s time to dig in to the next chapter. I know you are unsure, but together we can do this!
In January, I am hosting a workshop called Reclaiming Your Space: Redefine Yourself by Transforming Your Home. It will be a half day workshop to focus on how to manifest the home you want and need now in your life now. Step by step we will get clear on how you want it to look and feel and a detailed plan on how to make it happen. I will offer lots of ideas, useful tools and devoted time to you and your project. Come join me!